Looking back on my life, I almost certainly have ADHD. It’s possible that my idiosyncrasies perfectly overlap with ADHD without actually having it, but that’s probably not the case. As of this writing, I haven’t sought a diagnosis yet, but I’m seriously considering it.

When I was a child, my report cards often described what would be recognized today as ADHD-Inattentive Type:

'Amy is bright but she’s a daydreamer. She has difficulty focusing on assignments, but when she’s interested, she does very well.'

This set me up for low self-esteem, as my difficulties were attributed to personal failings rather than the possibility that I might need different tools. Being socially awkward only added to these feelings. I also struggled with dyscalculia, which made even simple math challenging without visual aids. In a community of geniuses in Silicon Valley, being merely very intelligent often left me feeling like a
dummy.

In high school, my social life improved dramatically, but I still had a tendency to put off assignments until the last minute and cram. I was the classic highly intelligent underachiever.

College is when things started turning around for me. With more freedom in my schedule, I could choose classes that kept my interest engaged. In my math classes, we were encouraged to show all our work, which was exactly what I needed to manage my dyscalculia. I realized that cramming was not my best strategy, and I began developing effective tools for myself to remain on track. It took me more than six years to graduate due to difficulties in focusing, likely linked to executive dysfunction. Despite these challenges, I earned my Bachelor’s degree in Fine Art Photography. This experience taught me the importance of finding the right tools and strategies to overcome obstacles—a lesson that has been invaluable in both my personal and professional life.

My work life has included major career changes every few years, which can be a trait of ADHD. I've been a portrait photographer, a receptionist at a veterinary hospital, and worked with developmentally disabled adults as both a behavior counselor and a recreation coordinator. During my time working with developmentally disabled adults, I returned to college to study psychology, intending to become an Art Therapist. Although my path eventually shifted, the lessons I learned during this period laid the groundwork for my future coaching approach. Each of my careers taught me valuable lessons about understanding people, adapting to different environments, and finding creative solutions to challenges.

Like a lot of people with ADHD, I spent years believing that my challenges were rooted in character flaws, a belief that deeply affected my self-esteem. I was conditioned to prioritize others' needs over my own, and I often diminished my own worth. This mindset left me vulnerable to mistreatment and made it difficult to recognize my own value.

My lightbulb moment came when I realized I expected my young children to do what I said, but I let adults walk all over me. As I learned about boundaries to teach my kids, I started applying them to my own adult relationships. During this time, I began to notice patterns in my son’s behavior that mirrored some of my own struggles, and he was later diagnosed with ADHD. Recognizing these similarities, I began developing tools to help him thrive, which would later shape my approach to coaching others with ADHD.

The real change came when I became deeply involved in self-defense training and martial arts. As someone who likely has ADHD, I found that the structure and repetition of martial arts helped channel my energy and focus. I also discovered that 'soft skills,' the non-physical skills, are essential for good mental health hygiene—practices we should integrate into our daily lives for overall well-being. I taught women’s self-defense with my friend, Eric, who taught the physical techniques while I taught the soft skills. As I became more and more practiced in these areas, I realized that Situational Awareness is essentially the same skill as Mindfulness, just applied differently. I also found that Boundary Management isn’t just about self-protection; it’s a foundation of healthy relationships. This understanding led me to my guiding principle, 'Self-defense is Life Enhancement: the things we do to keep ourselves safer also make our lives better on a daily basis.'

Around this same time, my husband and I were planning on buying his parents’ restaurant. I needed to deepen my transformation because becoming the owner was very different from being the owner’s daughter-in-law. The patterns from my past that needed to be addressed were brought to the surface, and my self-defense and martial arts training helped me tackle them head-on.

Soon I became the leader I aspired to be, developing growth at all levels within my team. My husband and I believed in giving people what they needed to succeed, then stepping back to let them exceed our expectations. When I saw an employee outshine me, I polished that shine—because their success meant we all succeeded. This approach, where empowerment leads to greater opportunity, is at the heart of my career coaching. Just as I guided my team to discover and leverage their strengths, I now help my clients do the same in their careers. Supporting others to excel is not just a leadership style, but a core philosophy that
continues to drive my work today.

Then the pandemic hit and that ruined just about everything. Owning and operating a restaurant is challenging even during the best of times but it should be joyful. The pandemic and its aftermath made restaurant ownership took the joy away.

Eventually we ended up closing the restaurant. As we were closing down, regular guests who were therapists and other mental health professionals encouraged me to become a Life Coach.

As I reflected on my journey, this made a lot of sense because all of my careers have the common thread of bringing out the best in people and/or supporting them. As a portrait photographer, I had to bring out my clients’ best for 1/250 of a second for every photo. In the veterinary hospital, I supported people through some of the best and worst moments of their lives because pets are family. Working with developmentally disabled adults, my job description included literally raising their IQs and supporting them in exceeding all expectations. Co-teaching women’s self-defense, I guided students in becoming their strongest selves. I had initially planned to become an Art Therapist, but I stepped off that path to support my husband’s dream of owning his family’s restaurant. Now, as I transitioned into life coaching, I felt like I was stepping back onto that path—though it’s taken on a new form, it still aligns with my core mission of helping people realize their full potential.

After we closed the restaurant I suffered a serious neck injury, and I must state that the injury was not martial art related. To make things even more stressful, I had my Shodan (1st degree black belt) test coming up. Rehabbing a neck injury while training for a Shodan test is not an experience that I recommend, but I did it! And that’s a story unto itself that I’m writing into a book.

With my 1st degree black belt earned, I enrolled in and graduated from the best coaching program, Thriving Coach Academy, which is an ICF accredited program. I am the coach for people with ADHD seeking career advancement. I created my Life Enhancement Approach to coaching based on a lifetime of developing tools for myself, my children, my clients, and my employees. I specialize in people with ADHD because that’s who I enjoy working with, but approach works for neurotypicals too.

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