More garden analogies! I have been requested to post more about Boundaries, so I went looking through my old Street Shield Self-Defense images and found this one, which is perfect for this Throwback Thursday.

Pre-pandemic I taught women’s self-defense with my friend, Eric, as Street Shield Self-Defense. He taught the physical skills and I taught the non-physical skills such as boundary setting and enforcement--which sometimes can go physical.

In addition to the words that I’ve already written on this photo, I would like to point out the totally fitting names of the rose varieties: “New Day” and “Savage Garden.”

New Day: January’s theme is New Beginnings, so this would be a good time to re-examine your Boundaries and see if they need any adjustments. Boundaries can be moved depending on your current needs. For example, I have some friends, guy-friends especially, who push their Boundaries out when they need space and will move them back in when they’re ready for more interaction. That’s perfectly fine. Your Boundaries are about your wants and needs, and those can change.

Savage Garden: Your duty is to your own emotional and physical well-being, and not to anyone else’s feelings. If someone is pushing your Boundaries, you have the right to go as savage as the situation warrants. I don’t want to get too self-defense-y here, but just know that the person pushing your Boundaries is the one who is being rude, not you. You have the right to be rude. You have no obligation to protect their feelings, if you choose to do so then that is your choice, but it is NOT your obligation. Your obligation is to your own physical and emotional safety.

To sum up: cultivate your environment so that you may grow healthy and bloom. Surround yourself with people who will respect your Boundaries.

I coach compassion-driven people in becoming their favorite self.

I have room for one more pro-bono client before I start charging money.