“No” is a complete sentence.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

If you choose to give an explanation out of courtesy, it’s not an invitation for negotiations.

A friend and colleague asked me to write this post after I spoke those words to her. She said I have a powerful way of talking about Boundaries due to my martial arts/self-defense background, which includes plenty of soft-skills.

When I realized that my natural niche was ADHD Career Advancement/Leadership Development, I lamented that I was leaving my self-defense base. A few days later, I read the astonishing statistic that 37% of women with ADHD experience intimate partner violence. Shortly after that, two of my clients realized that they were in relationships that were emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive. And I’m happy to report that they took action and got out.

I’m not a Relationship Coach, and I’m certainly not a Crisis Counselor, but as an ADHD Career Advancement/Leadership Development Coach, I coach the whole person so this will certainly come up again.

And not just women. Data on male victims is less comprehensive, but men with ADHD are significantly more likely to experience abuse than neurotypical men over their lifetimes. Anecdotally I have a huge number of men-friends who have experienced abuse.

So why do so many people with ADHD experience abuse?

✔️ Abuse isn’t about weakness or intelligence—it’s about social conditioning.
✔️ From childhood, many are taught to prioritize others’ comfort, ignore their instincts, and tolerate mistreatment.
✔️ This conditioning makes them more vulnerable to manipulation in relationships and in professional settings.
✔️ Recognizing these patterns is the first step to breaking them.

That’s why setting boundaries at work matters just as much as in personal life. Saying No may feel uncomfortable, but it should never feel impossible or unsafe. If it does, it’s a sign that you may need to get out—whether in your personal life or at work. Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships, and ethical leaders foster environments where boundaries are respected.