Setting new boundaries, especially in the workplace, can be challenging. However, it is crucial for maintaining your peace and professional growth.

For people with ADHD, setting boundaries can be especially challenging because we often grow up with poor boundaries. Many individuals with ADHD are socialized from a young age to discount their own discomfort to keep neurotypical people comfortable. This often happens because ADHD behaviors and needs are frequently misunderstood or dismissed, leading to a pattern of prioritizing others' comfort over our own well-being. As a result, we may not learn how to assert our own needs or recognize when our boundaries are being crossed.

When we start to learn about boundaries and begin setting them, we're suddenly prioritizing our own comfort, which can be a difficult shift. This new approach can feel uncomfortable and may even make us feel like we're being selfish or rude—you’re not being rude, though. You have the right to be treated with respect, and you deserve peace in your life including in the workplace. Boundary management is not rude; boundary pushback is rude.

When you set new boundaries, other people will push back in one of two ways:

1. They don’t understand boundaries very well but value your relationship, so they’re willing to learn. With a little education, they’ll abide by your boundaries.

2. They don’t actually care about you and are unwilling to learn. They’ll never abide your boundaries. That has everything to do with their shortcomings, and nothing to do with your inherent worth.

Discovering that people don’t care about and won’t respect your boundaries is sad, but now you know, and you can start protecting yourself. If it’s just one or two people in your workplace, discuss the situation with someone you trust. If it’s the entire organization that’s toxic, then you need to leave and find a healthier workplace. Remember that you deserve peace and to be treated with respect.

What challenges have you faced when setting boundaries at work?