What have you been taught about boundaries?

Have you been taught anti-boundaries? Such as love has no boundaries, always put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own, always do what’s asked of you unless you have an excuse to say no, never be rude, never make anyone feel bad, bury your own feelings to keep the peace, only weak people need boundaries.

Or have you been taught how to set and enforce healthy boundaries? Such as healthy boundaries are key to a successful relationship, you have the right to decide how you’re going to spend your time, you have the right to say no to anything—ANYTHING, “no” is a complete sentence, you don’t owe anyone an explanation, and it doesn’t matter if they think your “excuse” is “valid.”

Boundaries are an essential life skill that’s been denied to too many people. In an effort to teach children how to be compassionate and generous, kids are often taught “anti-boundaries,” which creates terrible consequences. One such consequence, as I indicated in my graphic, is that weak boundaries make you vulnerable to manipulation. Manipulators are experts at taking advantage of people’s poor boundaries and conditioning to never be seen as selfish or rude. You need to be confident in your boundaries so they will allow you to be compassionate while also protecting you from manipulators.

Another good reason to have healthy boundaries is to protect you from burnout. You can’t do it all, so you need to have healthy Time Boundaries—yes, that’s a thing.

Also, you need good Intellectual Boundaries. The entire world is at our fingertips with small devices that we keep in our pockets; we can’t possibly consume all the information there is to consume so we need to make choices. I have a client who has set an Intellectual Boundary of only consuming information and entertainment that is “nourishing” in some way. That’s a very healthy way of looking at it.

Boundaries are the foundation of a healthy life—guiding you to live with confidence, integrity, and authenticity in all aspects.