Today is both #ThrowbackThursday and the two-year anniversary of my neck injury months before I tested for my black belt, 1st degree Shodan. The injury is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. Rehabbing the injury while preparing for my Shodan test was both one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done and also one of my greatest joys. How do I describe this experience in a short social media post?

I’ll start by answering some FAQs: The injury was NOT martial art related. It was the recurrence of an older injury, also not martial art related, brought on by the extreme stress of closing the restaurant that my husband and I owned. I ruptured three discs in my neck. The pain was horrific, but fortunately I didn’t need surgery. My medical team all agreed that the injury was just under the threshold for surgery, and also I was so active and committed to actually doing the physical therapy. My medical team consisted of a sports medicine doctor, a chiropractor, a physical therapist, a spinal specialist, and a nerve specialist. Every single one of them said they were committed to helping me earn my black belt.

The emotions of what I went through, how do I describe that in the 1000 characters including spaces that are remaining?

My history in the martial arts has been a series of stops and starts. I would train for a while and then something in my life would force me to quit, and then I would start up again usually in a new style and school.

And now with my Shodan test only five months away, I suffered a bad neck injury. My Sensei gave me a choice of testing on time but he would modify the test to keep me safe, or delay the test until I was healed and it would be more traditional.

I chose to delay my test. The decision was grueling, but I wanted to experience the traditional test.

There were times when I thought the test was never going to happen. There were times when the only thing getting in my way was my own disbelief that I had healed enough to test. And then one day I accepted that I was actually going to earn my black belt.

If a picture says 1000 words, the picture of me hugging my Senseis says it all.

Deeper Dive.

That was my social media post for today on Facebook, Instagram, and Linked In. Since my blog doesn’t have character limits, I’ll add a little bit more.

The thing that made rehabbing my neck while training for my test work was the fact that my best rehab was my training. For many hours every day I practiced my kata, hit my bags, and did my physical therapy weightlifting and resistance band exercises. All the things that relieved my pain and helped me heal faster were the things that I loved doing most. And then when I got the all-clear from my doctors, I started sparring slowly and lightly at first, and then we carefully increased my intensity.

There are three very important things that have come out of this experience, so far.

1)     I now have chronic pain from the injury which gives me more empathy for people living with chronic pain. Before I had sympathy, now I have empathy. Though I must say that my pain is different than for people whose chronic pain is from autoimmune disorders. For example, movement makes my pain resolve, whereas movement can make pain worse for some autoimmune disorders like fibromyalgia. But still, the experience of having plans but running out of spoons, repeatedly, I get that.

2)    My gained empathy, rather than sympathy, is making me a better coach and I’m gaining clients because they can relate to my story. Recently, I was talking with my chiropractor about this.

He said something-like, “There’s nothing better than a wounded healer.”

3)    I’m writing a novel about my journey. I’m working on a few writing projects, both non-fiction and fiction. Shortly after I earned my black belt, my mentor in writing fiction had me read Save the Cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody. As I was learning about the Beat Sheet, I realized that my black belt journey hit every single beat right on cue. Two things came from this:

The first is that I started using the Save the Cat! Beat Sheet as a coaching tool. It’s a powerful reframe to understand that your difficulties in reaching your goal are a normal part of the Hero’s Journey. The Hobbits did not simply walk into Mordor. You’re so close to reaching your goal and then some horrible setback happens, that’s your High Tower Surprise, you will overcome this Surprise and then you will complete your achieve your goal thus completing your Hero’s Journey. This reframe really works!

The second is that I’m writing my story into a novel. Throughout my ordeal, there was wolf spider in my garage who used to come out from her hiding place to watch me practice kata, I’m not kidding, this really happened. I kinda felt like she was giving me moral support. A few months after I earned my black belt, I was practicing kata in the street in front of my house, and she ran out of the garage and sat on the curb and watched me. I swear to God that actually happened, I’m not making that up. At that point I said, “Ok, I’m turning this into a book. I already have the Beat Sheet, now I have the hook.” In the book, I anthropomorphize the spider, like Charlotte, and she speaks to me and gives me support. Here’s the mock-up book cover I made with an actual photo I took of her.

The Spider and My Black Belt Test: A Fictionalized Fantasy Telling of an Autobiographical Story. By Amy Stewart-Cooper.

Many of my Facebook friends have told me that following my journey through my injury and earning my black belt was inspirational, plus I gained some of my early clients from it. So I’m hoping that using the spider motif will make the grueling story kinda fun.

If you’re intrigued by my story but you didn’t know me yet as I was going through it, keep following my posts and then read my book!