Rory and I have a lot of the same goals but we use different language because we work with different kinds of people. He said something like, “be the player above the board.” I wordsmithed that idea into my own quote.

So, what does this mean?

A lot of people feel like they are not in control of their lives, but really, they are.

Rory talks about “internal locus of control” and “external locus of control.” I talk about “intrinsic motivation” and “extrinsic motivation.” These are very similar things, take your pick or use both.

Where is the locus (location) of control over your life? Is it internal, inside you? Or is it external, outside of you?

Are you motivated intrinsically by what you want? Or extrinsically, by what other people want?

Granted, humans are social creatures and we need to all get along and work together, but within that understanding we need to make our own decisions. This can be scary because when you make your own decisions then you’re responsible for the outcomes, both good and bad. A lot of people don’t want to be responsible, it’s easier to hand their responsibility over to someone else. But life becomes so much better when you exert control over your decision making.

I hear people talk about navigating through life as if it’s a game of chess and they want to be the King.

No! You’re the player! You’re not on the board, you’re above the board! That’s an amazing level of command over your own life.

In my coaching I encourage people to develop an internal locus of control, to be intrinsically motivated.

Do not be afraid to step into your own power. Some people fear that being powerful will corrupt them. But if you’re already a compassion-driven person, if your favorite version of yourself is compassionate, then that’s who you will be.

January’s theme is New Beginnings. How will you begin stepping into your power?

I have room for one more probono client to help me test drive my new coaching program before I start charging money.