What could pro-relational boundaries open up for you at work?

Pro-relational boundaries protect your well-being while fostering supportive relationships. These aren’t just about saying “no” but about communicating clearly to create an environment where everyone can thrive. For those with ADHD, these boundaries are especially important to prevent overwhelm and maintain focus.

When my husband and I owned our restaurant, we instructed our employees to set pro-relational boundaries with us. For example, when we asked a server to take a table outside their section, we wanted an honest answer. We didn’t want them to say yes if they were overwhelmed and couldn’t provide good service. Our employees’ success was our success, so we encouraged them to communicate openly about what conditions would allow them to say yes:

• “I can’t take a table right now, but ask me again in 20 minutes if we keep getting more walk-ins.”

• “I can take it if you’ll get their drink order for me.”

• “I can take it if you’ll bus my section for me.”

Yes, I was happy to bus tables for my servers—not only to help them out but also to check in with our guests.

Similarly, if we asked them to come in on their days off, we wanted them to say no if it would upset their family or lead to burnout.

This approach built loyalty. Years after we closed the restaurant, our staff still tell us how much they enjoyed working for us.

If you’re an employee, especially with ADHD, your coworkers and employers might appreciate you managing pro-relational boundaries like this. If they don’t, it might be time to find a healthier workplace.

If you’re a leader, are you creating a pro-relational workplace? A team that feels respected and supported isn’t just more productive—they’re more loyal and engaged. How could fostering these boundaries transform your work environment?