Time Boundaries are important for everyone, but they’re especially important for people with ADHD and for leaders.

As a child, I was taught that saying “no” was selfish and that other people’s needs always came first. Adults praised my willingness to self-sacrifice, while their reactions to my unrecognized ADHD—telling me to stop fidgeting, stop being distracted, or stop feeling—taught me that my needs didn’t matter. Over time, this conditioning led me to overcommit, push through discomfort, and ignore my limits in an effort to prove I cared.

This followed me into adulthood. As a young assistant manager, I worked myself to the brink, ignoring every warning sign, until the stress caused a neck injury that still affects me today.

Decades later, when I became deep in my self-defense training, I began to see boundaries in a new way—not just as protection, but as essential tools for developing healthy relationships, including Time Boundaries. Around that time, my husband and I bought our restaurant, where we protected our time by empowering our team to make decisions independently.

We also encouraged our employees to set boundaries, even with us. We didn’t want them to risk burnout by agreeing to requests they couldn’t realistically fulfill. When they did make sacrifices—like coming in on a day off or staying late—we made sure to reciprocate in meaningful ways.

My story isn’t unique—many people with ADHD, leaders, or anyone navigating social conditioning face similar struggles. Here are the questions that have helped me reclaim my time and energy, and they can help you do the same:

For leaders:
• Is this something only I can do, or can it be delegated?
• Does this task truly require my expertise, or am I micromanaging?
• Am I just putting out fires? If so, how can I empower my team to handle them?

For everyone:
• Will this decision nourish me or drain me?
• Am I committing because I’m excited, or because it aligns with my priorities?
• What would my future-self thank my present-self for doing (or not doing) right now?

Your time is valuable, and you deserve to protect it. How will you start reclaiming your time this week?