Have you ever uncovered a belief that’s been quietly holding you back?

In a recent session, one of my clients had a powerful breakthrough. He’s been on a journey of leveling up his life, challenging old habits and rewriting the rules that once held him back. One of the big changes he’s currently making is he is becoming more sociable, a shift that’s transforming both his career and social life.

In our conversation, he recognized an Old Rule that was set when he was a young child, “I am autistic, therefore I can’t be social.”

“But that’s not true anymore,” He said, “I CAN be social. Being sociable is a tool, and I can use tools.”

By reframing this belief, he was writing a New Rule for himself. I encouraged him to make it even stronger.

He said, “I choose to be sociable because both professionally and in my private life it makes my life more interesting.” He paused for a moment and added, “This gives me agency, I CHOOSE to be sociable.”

The Rulebook is a classic coaching technique. Here are some steps to help you rewrite your own limiting beliefs.

1. Identify the "Old Rule": What belief have you been holding onto that might be keeping you stuck?

2. Ask, “Is this still true?” Sometimes, beliefs served us once but don’t fit our lives now. Examine them and re-evaluate.

3. Write Your New Rule: What’s a more empowering belief that aligns with who you are today, and with who you want to become?

4. Make It Your Choice: Own it! Emphasize that this is a choice you’re making, reinforcing your agency.

Our self-beliefs shape our actions. Craft them to lead you to your future self.

Have you ever challenged an old belief and rewritten it into something more empowering? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear your experiences with choosing new rules.

ADDITIONAL:

Because I'm a photographer, I take photos of almost everything that happens in my life which has created a huge library of my own original images. This is a friend of mine who is a blacksmith, in this photo he was shaping a tekko (a traditional Okinawan kobudo weapon) that he made for me. This photo is not stock, nor is it AI, it's my own original photo. I included his face in the full photo, but for this Image with Words I wanted the viewers' eyes to be on the grinder and the sparks rather than on him.