What unconventional practice lights you up and makes you feel alive?

Yesterday, I spent two hours outside practicing my weapons kata on a crisp autumn day. It felt like a celebration because I’m finally recovering from months-long struggles with my stomach and gut. During that time, I couldn’t work out for long stretches because it literally made me sick. But now, I’m back—and it feels good to feel like myself again! I think my smile says it all in this selfie I took right after training with my eku (oar).

For those of us with ADHD, sitting still isn’t always the answer to relaxation. Watching TV is something I do when I’m sick, but when I’m feeling healthy, sitting down to ‘relax’ can actually feel excruciating. ADHD brains often run low on dopamine, so instead of sitting still, I recharge by doing something that gets all my happy hormones flowing—like training in martial arts.

A lot of people don’t understand this. They see my constant practice and training in multiple styles at the same time as exhausting, they tell me to slow down and do something more relaxing. I wish I had a nickel for every time someone told me to stop training in martial arts and take up knitting instead.

I always say, “Yes! I could stick people with my knitting needles!”

For some people, the artistry and intense focus of knitting brings them joy, but for me the martial arts lights me up like nothing else can.

The anticipation and feeling of accomplishment (dopamine), exercise (serotonin), runner’s high/battle joy (endorphins), and physical contact (oxytocin)—seriously, consensual combat like sparring and grappling creates that special warrior’s bond.

The most radical self-care is refusing to play by anyone else’s rules. Forget what’s “normal” or “expected.” There’s power in choosing what makes you feel alive and rejecting the pressure to change who you are.

What’s your unexpected way to recharge? How have you had to rebel against what others expect of you to find your own way? I’d love to hear your stories.