Rehabbing a neck injury while training for a black belt test is not an experience I’d recommend, but I did it. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and one of my greatest joys. The thing that made it work was everyone on my medical team—chiropractor, sports medicine doctor, physical therapist, spinal specialist—agreed that training for my test was my best rehabilitation.

In my last post, I described how the injury was due to a culmination of a lifetime of pushing myself too hard. It happened right after my husband and I closed our beloved restaurant and months before I was supposed to take my black belt test in Okinawan Kenpo. Now, in order earn my black belt, I had to learn to stop pushing myself past the point of breaking—I had already broken—and finally listen to my body.

Growing up with unrecognized ADHD I learned to ignore my feelings and put everyone else first. I carried that into adulthood. When I was a young assistant manager I had ignored every warning sign until I tore muscles in my neck and shoulder, and even then I kept pushing myself to show how much I cared. That injury is what caused this one, decades later.

I had to unlearn the kind of dissociation that allowed me to push myself past injury and keep going. In order to take my test, I had to feel the excruciating pain and hear what it was telling me: did it want me to workout to relieve the pain? Or to rest? Most of the time it wanted me to workout, and that’s what made it my greatest joy.

I practice martial arts because I love it! Having horrible pain that’s alleviated by the thing I love best is a bizarre blessing. And I was blessed by needing to work out 2-3 hours to keep the pain at bay. I was actually starting to get into really good shape! To celebrate it, I took this photo of me tying my wrist wraps.

Don’t fight a battle on two fronts—this is applicable to everyday life, Very often people with ADHD end up fighting ourselves. Earning my black belt required making peace with myself.

What’s one way you can make peace with yourself today?

Post 3 of 6 If you're just now jumping into my series, you can start at the beginning by clicking here.